America’s legal bubble is about to pop.
Critics have long bewailed our national glut of lawyers, to little effect. Chief Justice Warren Burger predicted 35 years ago that America was turning into “a society overrun by hordes of lawyers, hungry as locusts.”
There are now well over 1,500,000 licensed attorneys in the United States.
It’s fair to say that we’re all sick and tired of attorneys…whom without the practice of law would at best be mediocre businessmen but would much more likely fall in the bracket of starving writers that jump from project to project hoping to pay their bills.
Here in 2017, there’s way more attorneys graduating college than doctors and scientists. This is the first sign of a decaying civilization.
The practice of law is oversatuated with attorneys, all clawing for the next personal injury case where they can bang a producer of real products and services with another lawsuit.
Specifically, I’m tired of their arrogance.
Yea, great, just because you passed the Bar exam doesn’t mean your shit. Rather it just means that you learned a bunch of “procedures” and “latin” that is specifically in the courts to confuse the layman business person.
Moreover, the rates these whores for hire charge is a complete scam. i.e. Last week I was posted a job notice on a board for attorneys to take a case I want to bring on a contingency basis. It’s a simple contract breach with close to $1M in penalties that could get clawed back.
An attorney named Matt responded to the posting.
After spending multiple hours with “Matt” discussing the details of the case and Matt getting me all pumped up about how he was going to crush the defendant for me, Matt finished “baiting” me and “switched” to his real pitch:
“Paul, you seem like quite the entrepreneur and you are the perfect client for us to take on. In fact, I’d like to offer you a deal where you give us the first right of refusal on all of your business litigations because we think you could be a really special client. Now we’re going to charge a $5,000 monthly retainer to offset some of our costs, and in return you have to promise us to give us the first right of refusal on all of your cases….”
I let Matt go on for about 10 minutes on his pitch, remaining completely silent the entire time. When he finished speaking he said “so, Paul, so what to you think of that?”
My response was simple:
“No to monthly retainer. Yes to contingency.”
That’s when Matt’s true colors came out, which became clear that he wasn’t interested in the contingency case at all, instead he wanted to close a deal where he would make $60,000.00 a year for filing a bunch of papers that would take me as a layman 20-30 hours maximum, or him 15-20 hours max.
Once he finished his last “pitch” effort at convincing me, I told him the answer was a firm NO for his “monthly” retainer. When Matt realized that he wasn’t going to make $60k a year off this deal plus the $150k+ in contingency payments, he finally came out with the truth: “Sorry Paul, I just can’t take the case on. I have to get compensated for my time.”
Sorry Matthew…you’re not going to scam me into your bullshit monthly retainer. Time to move on to the next sucker.
Economies are governed by the simple principal of supply and demand. Currently there is an overwhelming supply of attorneys in the marketplace.
For local issues, people turn to the “power movers” in the local town that support the judges during their campaigns thus yield political influence.
As for the rest of the hundreds of thousands of starving attorneys out there…they’re getting creative on their rates and pushing the price down naturally in the market. Lots aren’t making the cut and are switching careers to activities that are more productive to society like writing good stories for $20 a pop…now there’s definitely value in that!