FOLLOW US

In the past few years, FSU quarterbacks have been accused of a range of off-campus misdeeds.  One was videotaped punching women in the face at a local bar.  Another was accused of sexual assault and stealing crab legs.  Now, yet another FSU quarterback is being accused of domestic battery.

Because the examples outlined above were limited to just the quarterback position, it is now clear that these men who are supposed to be the smart, team leaders have corrupted the entire varsity football program along with the tens of thousands of fans who have enabled their behavior.

Because of a clear cultural problem with the football team, President John Thrasher must now immediately and indefinitely suspend the FSU football team. In fact, he must immediately suspend all athletics at Florida State so that the depths of the cultural problem can be thoroughly plumbed.

The indefinite suspension means no practice, no contests, and the individual athletes are not allowed to congregate or speak to each other.

And in the future, upon any complaint received by the university, anonymously or otherwise, the entire team of any athlete suffering a complaint will be suspended. Alcohol and all forms of alcohol advertising will be banned in athletes’ residences, regardless of campus or off-campus location, or age of the player.  Each athlete will be required to have a live-in adult monitor on each floor of their apartment complexes.

Finally, each athlete will henceforth pay an out-of-pocket $150 per semester compliance fee to the university to hire staff to babysit our athletes.  This is of course in addition to the tens of millions already being spent by the university for the supposed purpose of stopping these things before they happen.

One bad idea should not beget another

Yes, we readily admit that this is a very stupid idea and one that will and should never happen. Yet all of the absurd regulations listed above have been proposed by FSU for imposition on another group of students.  Therefore, if FSU were consistent in its logic and application of rules, precedent and penalties, this is exactly what would happen to its athletic programs.

Fairness and common sense and American jurisprudence dictate that if a member of a varsity team, or even several members, misbehaved, they should be dealt with individually.  Quite simply, neither football nor any other athletic team should be suspended as a group if they have done nothing wrong.

By that same logic, FSU’s fraternity and sororities should never have been suspended.  Due to this now three-month suspension, considerable emotional, organizational and financial damage has been done to organizations that did nothing wrong.