Cedric Dent of USA Herald conducted this sponsored inverview of John DeMarr
John DeMarr, a private investigator from California who has often had to provide proof of infidelity to a suspecting spouse. He discusses the question of whether women are more prone to cheating than men.
Many people believe that men are more prone to cheating than women. The reason for this is that they are seen as more sexual by nature and their egos are boosted when women make them feel desirable. Women are seen as the ones who want monogamous, long-term relationships. Is this conventional belief really true?
Women cheat for different reasons than men
Many studies have shown that men cheat more than women while others have tended to reveal little difference in the rates of infidelity. What they have revealed, however, is that the reasons for infidelity differ. Men confess to being easily sexually aroused and to want sex without any strings attached. John DeMarr says it is often a question of finding opportunity they perceive having a minimal risk of being caught. If they are wealthy and good looking, they are often presented with many opportunities to boost their egos and reassure themselves of their desirability.
Women’s infidelity is often a result of feeling frustrated in a relationship. Many look for love elsewhere if they are feeling neglected and underappreciated. Women who are in emotionally fulfilling relationships are less likely to cheat.
Women are more nurturing and seek intimacy rather than just sex so their infidelity may be somewhat underestimated.
Different stages at which men and women cheat
One study found that women are more likely to cheat on their partners between six and 10 years of marriage. Men, on the other hand, had a less specific window for committing adultery, but infidelity after 11 years was most common. This study, published in The Journal of Sex Research, seemed to corroborate the ‘seven-year itch’ idea which suggests that after seven years, women are more likely to cheat because the relationship is starting to tail off.
Attitudes to men and women cheating
Society has tended to frown on women cheating. For centuries women did not feel free to talk about sex or to express their sexual desires. They were supposed to be loyal to their men and give them what they wanted. Traditionally, women also had fewer opportunities for cheating on their husbands because they tended to stay at home with the children.
This has changed over the last few decades with women entering the workplace and becoming more in touch with their own sexuality. They tend to have much higher expectations when it comes to their sex life.
It appears that on the whole men still cheat more than women but women cheat more than they used to in the past.
John DeMarr says that husbands will hire a PI when they start feeling a lack of emotional connection with their wives and suspect infidelity. Women are often able to find proof of a husband’s infidelity more easily as they tend to be careless about concealing evidence.