Despite being social creatures by nature, Humans also need necessary time for themselves. After all, we both come into this world alone and will leave that way also. Each person really needs to feel “comfortable” in their own two shoes in order to live healthfully. In fact, the healthiest people around balance both their independent, interpersonal, family, and social relationships best as compared to others.
For many, this notion of comfort with oneself ,and life long investments in doing so ,come as second nature and continue throughout life even when in loving and committed relationships. Typically, these are the ones which last a lifetime as both the individual and couples needs are being met simultaneously.
On the other hand, many people sacrifice their individual desires to grow and further develop by over-investing into everyone else and do not spend enough time on and with themselves. Here are when the catchy titles of Co-Dependence , Enabling, & Masochism come into usage when relating to that individual who struggles to take care of their needs as well as others.
These types of relationships can go on forever unless that person can step back and make some needed changes. Focus on the desires and interests of oneself while also assisting others in getting their needs met for themselves as well. In other words, balance it out.
Develop your own Passions that belong just for you . No need to invite anyone else . This one, or ones, are just for you. In fact, make it clear if necessary to your loved ones that this belongs to only You and does not involve them. If this is a new quest for you, get ready for some resistance from the existing people in your life.
They will not be used to you having your own Life aside from the one you share with them. Guilt bombs, pouting, and even direct anger towards you from the ones in your life who are used to the old “Selfless” you can often occur until this “new” balanced pattern gets some miles on her. In the meantime, enjoy your “Me” time. Set limits with anyone who tries to encroach on your space and encourage them to also focus more on themselves as well, so you don’t have to as much anymore.