How to Take Control of Anger



Anger as a Secondary Emotion

Anger is a secondary emotion – it’s not a primary emotion. What does this statement really mean? It’s simple. At the root of the anger you feel are other overriding, more primal emotions. It’s these emotions that are causing you to feel anger and by understanding them, you can eventually control your anger.

There are essentially three different emotional stems from which anger springs and when you sit back and look at your own situation you’ll find one of these are the root of the problem. If you choose not to do this, the anger will eventually overwhelm you and you’ll end up looking foolish to those around you.

I’m not suggesting that there aren’t good reasons to feel angry sometimes. If you went through life without ever getting angry at anything, you wouldn’t be human. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to control it and shape it. Once you have a true understanding of where anger comes from, you can begin to decipher your own anger and make decisions that are more rational. At the root of your anger is the real reason you’re feeling the way you do and that’s where you should really be concentrating your focus.

Getting to the Root of Your Anger

I always find it helpful to use an analogy when I’m struggling with a concept. Think of your anger as a tree. To the outside world, the tree looks solid and immoveable, but the tree would never stand on its own. What you don’t see are the roots underneath the ground. It’s these sturdy roots that make the tree the strong example of nature that it is.