Below is the original excerpt from the demand letter regarding damages:
“Due to the trauma of the assault, Doe has endured intense emotional suffering, plagued by overwhelming anxiety and panic. Depression weighs heavily on her life. She avoids many social environments and crowded spaces. Her mental and emotional health has deteriorated such that normal daily functioning is unattainable. She fears for her life and constantly relives the horror she endured at the hands of you and your associates over the span of years. She will never fully heal from the atrocities she was forced to commit after being drugged and raped by you and Combs.”
How I Would Rewrite It for Maximum Impact
“Ms. Doe has suffered profound and continuing trauma as a direct result of your actions. The relentless onslaught of anxiety and panic has robbed her of any semblance of normalcy. She is tormented by vivid flashbacks and fear for her safety, rendering her unable to engage in many basic, everyday activities. Her depression is severe and unyielding, driving her into an isolating darkness that impacts every facet of her life. What she endured—being drugged, sexually violated, and coerced into unspeakable acts—has shattered her ability to function in society. No amount of compensation can undo the damage, but it is now your legal and moral obligation to take immediate steps to address the harm you have caused.”
This version doesn’t mince words. It underscores the immediate need for redress and leaves little room for doubt about the severity of her emotional and psychological injuries. Importantly, it stays within the ethical boundaries demanded by the law—no threats or personal insults, just a clear statement of the facts and consequences.
